Do you realize that the most important person in your life is you?  Does it sound selfish for you?  If you are a spiritual person, unfortunately it often does sound selfish.  No attempts in art, happier life, fulfillment will be successful if you do not look honestly on where you are with self-love.
Have you experienced unconditional love at all?  Was it your parent, friend, or partner? How do you think it feels to love yourself unconditionally?  Do you think that only God can give unconditional love?  Is your particular God good with unconditional love or do you need to be a certain way for your God to approve of you?
The secret here is that self-love is accepting you at any point of your journey. Self-love is not about using an updated intelligence to look back at your actions.  
To describe the feeling and make it real for you let’s do this visualization.
“Imagine yourself as a 6-month baby.  You can not walk yet, you are looking around and everything fascinates you.  You are tiny, maybe on the floor, surrounded by toys.  Pick this baby up.  Hold it and say: “I love you, baby.  I love everything about you.  I love that you are only learning to eat, I love that you have no idea how to get dressed. I love that you get so sincerely upset when your tummy bothers you. I love your open smile; I love your tiny hands. I love that you have no clue, and your journey here has started.”
Do you feel the energy now?  Feel that this energy has no expectations. It has no set of rules for the baby.  If the baby smiles, you will love the baby, and if the baby cries, you will do your best to resolve the issue. Your love for the baby is unconditional.
This is the energy that you need to be in when you are thinking of you.
Please take a moment and make a mental note of a dose of “self-love” that is available for you.
You might be asking yourself what are the benefits of this kind of love.  At the end of the day, no one loves to be around people who are self-centered. We want first to tell you that your health will be so much better when the anger and frustration with yourself diminishes. Health experts talk more and more on how our negative thoughts and images affect our well-being.  Our negative inner chatter on how we fall short of something and negative self-judgement, be it beauty, intellect, education or our status in society, all make our health deteriorate.
The comparison is at the root of this blockage. This will block your natural flow of creativity and overall joy.
Life is about bliss and enjoyment, and ….fun.  Life is about working on your mission.  By the way, if you are reading this, you do have a mission. The thought that you need to work hard and have fun two days per week was created by society.   Later we will talk about you and your connections with other human beings, but for now keep the following concept in mind:  You truly accepting yourself is the only way you will be able to accept others. You must start with yourself. We judge ourselves a lot. We judge ourselves based on the ideas that are common in the society we live in.  If we are in sync with the ideas of the society, we in return approve of ourselves, but if we are not, we somehow feel that we lack something.  It also gives others a chance to teach us their way, which may not be our way.
Let’s think for a second.  Society gives ideas so that it becomes easy to rule the members of society.  Let’s investigate every idea we have from the standpoint of it making you powerful or powerless.
“Your whole identity is based on society’s expectation of you.”
– Paramahamsa Nithyananda
Short Story:
There are three women at the beach this summer. One is from Europe, and she is not wearing the top part of her bathing suit, another one is from the United States and she is wearing both the bottoms and top to her swimsuit, and another one is from Middle East, and she is covered from head to toe.
Imagine what they are each thinking about each other?  Do you think that a Middle Eastern woman sees a European or American one and is jealous about their freedom?  Wrong! She thinks that they are crazy. Meanwhile, the American one is probably thinking that the European one is making her uncomfortable. A European one thinks that she is the most progressive one. You get the point.
Let’s now rewind. Let’s imagine these women as babies.  Were they born with these ideas?  Were these ideas instilled in them?
Can you think at this moment about your set of beliefs? Write down what you think are ideas that society gave you?  When you judge yourself and decide what is possible for you, is it coming from an authentic place?
We often create something like a game in which we are determined to make us losers in the end. We even invent rules, and then we become judges of the game. We just make sure that we can justify that we are not the winners.  If we get the house, it is not a million dollar house, if we get a wife, the wife is not a supermodel, if we get a job, it is not as good as some other job.  We are never content.
Some people say that it is what drives the progress.  We want things faster, better, etc.  The real progress is to be in the flow of energy. The right energy flow will continue to create, and you will not be a loser in that  game.  You just need to change the way you look at things, at you, learn to have fun with your creations and relax about yourself. Give yourself a break. All our limiting beliefs are just somebody else’s ideas.
There was a study done in which a gigantic fish tank was filled with many fish. On one side of the fishtank, the researchers created a castle for the fish to play in. This is where the fish spent 90% of their time.
Twice per day, the researchers would feed the fish, making sure to place the food on the complete opposite end of the tank from the castle. As a group, the fish would swim to the food, eat up, and peacefully swim back to their castle. This same experiment was done everyday for a couple of months, and everyday the fish would swim to the food when it was given, then spend the rest of their time frolicking in the castle.
After a couple months of repeating this process, the researchers placed a big transparent sheet of glass in between the castle and the food. The researchers would then place the food in the same place, the fish would attempt to swim to the food, and would be blocked by the sheet of glass. This process was repeated for a couple days, and the fish would continue to swim to the food only to be blocked by the glass and unable to retrieve the food.
The final process in the study is where it gets interesting. The researchers removed the glass and fed the fish in the same place, the opposite end from the castle. The fish continued to swim over to the food, and low and behold, the fish stopped exactly where the glass was placed, even though the glass was no longer there!
We are no different from the fish. The fish have been conditioned to behave in a certain way. Even when the opportunity was given to them to access the food because there was a limitation placed before them for some time they were programmed to believe, they could never achieve reaching the food ever again. Self-love can heal some of the ideas we have about ourselves, so we want to start with the self-love meditation technique.
Self-Love Meditation Technique
(This meditation can be done with a partner so that you can take turns. One reads while the other closes his or her eyes and allows the spoken words to guide them through the meditation process. You can do it alone of course too.)
“Close your eyes.
Allow yourself to become completely relaxed.
Take a deep breath, in through your nose.
Exhale out through your nose.
Continue to breathe deeply, every inhale and exhale becoming longer and each breath making you more and more relaxed.
Take another inhale for the count of four… one, two three, four.
Hold your breath for the count of four… one, two, three, four.
Exhale for the count of four… one, two, three, four.
Hold for the count of four… one, two, three, four.
Now simply breathe calmly and regularly, at a steady pace.
Bring your awareness to the one part of your body that you like least. This can be your tummy, your thighs, a facial feature.
Focus on that part of your body.
Begin to send love to that body part by repeating in your head, “I love you …[insert body part here].”
Say this ten times.
Now repeat to yourself, “I accept my [insert body part here] as it is.”
Repeat this ten times.
Now repeat, “I love the parts of me that are not very lovable.”
Repeat this ten times.
Now repeat “I am perfect just the way I am.”  Go to the mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say “I accept myself the way I am.”
Repeat ten times or as many times as you need.